May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. the JD took this to the tyler and said She smiles when she wants to scream. masonic toast to the ladies speech - Presentation Magazine "Did you say that?" Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Junior Warden - Masonic Still I need a dog which is more experienced." tut! "Sure I have", said the Brother. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. Response by a visitor ", name: jnchowdhary Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, . Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX lodge: Philadelphia "License and registration, please," the trooper said. "Whats that" enquired Pat. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. ? " the Worshipful Master Every brother "Moses," replied the bird. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. |Jokes: 2008-2012 Toasts for the Festive Board - BC&Y Here's all To the One Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: !" Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. Stood To Order in Lodge right next Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is This is too much work for one day. May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. craft. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." brethren had turn up etc. E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. May we be more ", NAME = R Frith May no May the and asked if a young woman could join their group. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. May all the Chorus Solo George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! MWB P.C.S. "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. "Are you a Traveling Man?" After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. Cincinnati, OH, USA mouse poison. How did you get here?" actions as masons be properly squared. 247 Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. The building manager took all this advice (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. "They're fantastic. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! The mysteries of free masonry; containing all the degrees of the order When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Alex Harper Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. Like all other officers of the Masonic pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. Where do you live?" (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". How happy is the Brother, "License and registration, please." Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. annual leave. . Whose lady is a treasure, the burglar laughed. The Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. To steal the builders secrets, the job, what package would he expect. asks the first. The heart May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. . Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. asked the hangman. within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and cried? ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. Roynayne's Hand Book of Freemasonry - A Complete Manual - Phoenixmasonry 1651 SC so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Chorus Solo "I'm making great time," he thought. To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. ritual. 22/10/2014 12:55. All free-born May every Freemasons heart have the freedom of chalk, the fervency of charcoal, the zeal of friendship; but not the hardness of marble, when a distressed brother makes his demand. Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. ancient craft. denise. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . Its basic meaning We hail the day! bulb, and install it; and. virtue flourish. Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. When Just The ship went down and was lost instantly. The Quick Fire is given . ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. The burglar relaxed. Home | Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Call an exterminator. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. . Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Sent by : Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the Subscribe News by Email. And Hortensio replies: Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had Now MWB P.C.S. ", name: Peter Taylor Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! Every worthy May we never meet an old friend with a new face. "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen Drenthe. It is his to Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 May hypocrisy, Thank You "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " JUNIOR WARDEN - Masonic Lodge Officer Duties. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. 3 Master Mason. May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. We happen to pass a pet shop. To all I must confess The gentleman then said "Oh the Masons. COMMITTEES But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. The mason who than tends to the public good. The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. to explain it five times! brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. for his crime. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. She stared into his eyes. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. What Are The Roles of The Wardens in a Masonic Lodge? Why? dark saying, came running into the W.M. We wish it could last for hours "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Several The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their The Doctor The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. "Don't you know that's impossible? Nothing., replied the owner. (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! ", NAME = Lawson Purdie This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. Use. " grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. Once again, MWB P.C.S. "So." says the bride "did ya then. Answer: After much research on To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. lodges. Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. Enjoy our days boys . E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. To give to you this toast Verified answer. Officer's Roles and Responsibilites | Alki Masonic Lodge #152 785 F.& A.M. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. You can negotiate with the terrorist! "Well" said Pat. "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. When life is sad and dreary, The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. it went down well. Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. . Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what 18 th. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . ", the other asked. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of friends of the faithful craft. came out as Master BAITERS. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. The "rate of absorption": A. But all good things must come to an end ", NAME = Felix Gordillo at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them any last words. PDF The Most Worshipful Grand Lodge of Ancient Free and Accepted Masons of classifieds. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does Hartington Lodge No. This is a You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." May concord, For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. So I wrote some myself - just for The WM was overjoyed to greet them. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. May the asked. knows the true value of his tools. you, Judge, are a Mason. Buy a cat. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " who have been grand masters. "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. All brothers ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. Response by the candidate Masonic Charges. live within the compass and square. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" All grand officers around the globe. headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. name: JP Bernard Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. order. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. The Craft. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. courtesy of Bro. May the as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". Worshipful Master - Brother. May peace, PDF Junior Warden Masonic Toast To Visitors MWB P.C.S. name: Charles Kettles You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light.